Rewriting Your Reality: Shift Your Narrative
Redefining our internal narrative is a powerful process, one we explore often during coaching relationships. People come to me, as a coach, to help them redefine goals, transform their careers, or change their direction; as Michael Margolis said, “The stories we tell literally make the world. If you want to change the world, you need to change your story.” In our sessions we explore our personal narrative which is a collection of stories we tell ourselves about who we are from our experiences, and what we are capable of doing, our potential, and identify where we can make an impactful change or redirection.
Previously I shared the importance of stories and how sharing emotion to create connection brings success in interviews. Stories are how we learned about morals, good and bad deeds, who we are and where we came from. But an internal story or narrative is different. In preparation for closing the year let’s talk about narrative and how you can control your own tale in order to begin to redirect your own story, “don’t let anyone tell you who you are.”
These narratives come from bits and pieces around us that we hold onto which may not serve us well. We know we can’t control people’s reaction to our work, we can only control what we produce. And some of what we produce internally is not based in fact so let’s change what we tell ourselves.
Consider a few steps to use to change your narrative and build a more positive future:
Create personal awareness: Spend time alone getting to know who you are, who you want to be and your fears. What stories continue to pop up for you on a continuous loop? Remember that life changes quickly and you cannot return to your last hour, you can only go forward into the next day. Let’s pivot with grace.
Challenge your negative self-talk: Try journaling the negative thoughts so you can challenge if they are based on fact or fiction. We tend to hold onto our negative assumptions yet we need to learn to let them go. Create a process whereby you replace the negative with known strengths, successful outcomes and affirmations. Change from “I am afraid to speak up in meetings” to “I like to know the thoughts and ideas of my colleagues and where I can add ideas.”
Visualize a positive future or outcome: Truly envision the positive you desire to the point you can feel it, smell the environment, identify who it will impact, and truly embody the positive. Reshuffle the order of events and create a new narrative about the same situation. Use knowledge gained about yourself.
Seek positive external forces: Reach out to those who inspire and raise you up. Ask friends what kind of support they come to you for and why. Free yourself from the unhelpful images of who you used to be. Embrace who you are today and who you want to be tomorrow.
SMART Goals: Set small achievable goals for yourself which move you in the direction you seek.
By consciously rewriting your narrative, you welcome growth, nurture resilience, and reframe your true potential. This is a journey which requires patience in order to reap the rewards we seek. You know who you are. Live your life.
I invite you to reach out to me with ideas, thoughts, questions and more at janettegoodmancoaching@gmail.com and remember,
“We are the stories we tell ourselves.” – Joan Didion, an American novelist and essayist
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